smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
