I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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