so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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