There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
