this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
