Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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