talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize