no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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