so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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