I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
