Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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