We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
