got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
