i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
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Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
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I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
as a side note pls kill me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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