got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize