Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
