There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
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