I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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