Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
