just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
