Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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