with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
