no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why is there bacon in the couch?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
the raccoons are back...
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