i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so let's talk penis.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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