A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
