I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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