you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
