Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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