so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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