Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
