tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
