She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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