we have pet lesbian snakes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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