I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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