I'm eating all of the evidence.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
