Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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