I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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