in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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