We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
