Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
