OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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