why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
