Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
