She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
