Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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