Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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