I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
4 words: hood of his car
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Vodka?
Forever.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
