Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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