I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
