Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
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They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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