why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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