Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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