The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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