Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize