i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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