it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
