That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
