apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
