I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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