you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
