Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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