Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
