The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
