my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think my vagina is haunted
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
