Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
