All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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