I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize