Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
